Father and Son

Akash turned 23 today, a youth of this generation and filled with excitement and enthusiasm to take off from here towards a journey to achieve his aspirations. Today is his birthday and he will be flying to London School of arts for his degree in Fine Arts. Like any other year, this year too he threw a party for his friends in one of the restaurants, watched movie is some multiplex and returned home. He was welcomed by his mother and grandmother when he entered home, they gifted him birthday presents. Then his mother accompanied him to his room to help him pack his stuff for the journey.

Akash was going to London for 2 years and then will return to India. His father was opposed to the whole idea from the beginning and in fact they had a bitter argument when Akash informed everyone at home about his decision. His father wanted him to do an MBA and take on reins of a family business and Akash did not want to do it, simply because he hated his father for his business and his business mindedness in life. His mother remained a mute spectator when the father- son argument went on and on...

After his mother finished packing things for Akash, she instructed him to sleep for sometime now and then in about 8PM he had to get ready to leave. It was 3 PM now, Akash stretched himself on bed and tried to sleep, but could not. He felt restless, for some unknown reason. Initially he ignored it, thinking that it was only because he was perhaps too excited about the new course, new place and a new life that was waiting for him there, or may be because he was tensed about the journey ahead and all the formalities in the airport. He tried to divert his mind to something else by playing some music on his iPod. But that also did not seem to relax him. As he paced up and down his room, suddenly his hand touched something and then there was a sound of broken glasses on the floor, when he looked around he found the Photo frame. He took it in his hands and took the photo out from the frame, it was his childhood photo, he was 2 years old then and his father was holding him in his arms. As he gazed at the photo, his eyes welled up with tears and he felt his throat choked due to the sudden emotions that gathered. He remembered how he saw his father change, after his 5th birthday he never saw his father on any of his subsequent birthdays and also he was rarely at home. He remembered how his father had immersed himself in his work and was always on business tours and meetings, hardly sparing anytime for his family. When important decisions about his college, courses or other things had to be done, it was his mother who had to take care of it. As emotions started growing in his mind, he started feeling an acute sense of agitation and was clueless how to subdue it down. Fighting it alone himself, he sat on his bed and suddenly found his hand on a letter pad. Something stuck him and he looked at the photo again and started writing down… what he wrote was a letter to his Father.

In about an hour, he finished writing the letter and neatly folded it and kept it on his bed. It was now time for him to get ready to leave to the airport, he cross checked his documents and got ready and left for the airport. Even at the airport it was only his mother, grandmother and friends who were there to see him off. He was happy to have them all, but some corner of his mind, he always knew that he was missing his father a lot. At this point in time, a simple hug from his father would have given him enough encouragement to see through the ordeal of 2 years. It was missing as expected, yet he hoped…

Many days and months passed by, then one day, Akash’s father entered Akash’s room looking for an official file of his. While looking for the file, he saw this neatly folded paper in front of the table lamp and took it. Opening the paper, he read the letter, it was the letter that Akash had wrote the day he was leaving for London. The letter read something like this...

Dear Papa,


Today I am leaving for London, as I was trying to take a quick nap just sometime ago; I accidently saw this photo of ours... Isn’t it so cute and lovely Papa? The way you held me then… I don’t know why, but today suddenly I had the same urge that you will hold me again, hug me and tell me some inspiring words. But alas, like every other day today also you are so busy, that you didn’t remember that I am leaving today and that it is my birthday today…You remembered none of this. None of this is important to you. What is important is your business?


You have never been to my school for the Parents Teachers meetings, neither during the Annual day functions. You did not take part in choosing the college for my studies; you don’t even know the names of any of my friends. You don’t know where I spend my days, when do I return? Those were not important because they don’t give you any profits right?


It was heart wrenching at times to see how my friend’s father supported him when he was learning cycling- I learnt it alone with the help from some of my friends, or when he was playing in a tennis tournament – I sat alone during the breaks as no one had come to watch me play from my family. Sometimes I felt jealous of the fact that my friend’s father was there with him to support him. His father scolded him too when he did mistakes and when he scored less marks, and sometimes I would see my friend come after having fought with his father, but then next day things would be alright between them like a magic. I never had those moments in my life. I never had the person to whom I could go and share my thoughts with. Why were you not there with me during such times?

I don’t hate you Papa, I really really admire you for you ability in your work, business and honesty. But amidst all this what I miss is a caring father who would be proud of his son’s achievements however little it is, who would correct his son when he is wrong. And I don’t hate your business either. I only don’t want to turn into a machine and hence I won’t choose your business, I don’t want my children to get a robotic Dad who would get them whatever they wished for and never be with them.


Today I really needed you papa, but you are not here, sometimes that makes me feel, If I remained the 2 year old kid that I am in that photo, perhaps you would be with me a little longer and maybe things wont be so bitter between us as it is now.

I have to leave now Papa, take care.


Yours Loving Son,
Akash...

As he finished reading the letter, tears rolled down his eyes and he felt a strong desire to see his son now and hug him, but it was not possible and he realized that it was late. He was furious on himself and he was partly unhappy that Akash said all that he said in the letter so late. Had he known this earlier he would have changed his style of life and spent more time with his son. In the quest for giving his son all the comforts of the world, he snatched away the basic essence of it. He kept staring at the photo of his 2 year old son and tears kept falling onto the floor. Quite sometime passed and he remained seated in the same place and same posture as he had been while reading the letter. Then suddenly he realized that he could not let more time run through and immediately took the decision to change himself at least to a certain extent. He know had a sense of urgency to get back his connect with his son, but also realized that he had to be cautious and all of a sudden things don’t change. He decided that he will let the relationship take sometime to again form. He decided to write a letter to Akash.

He wrote a very normal letter to Akash, asking about his stay, place, and studies and future plans and if he needed any help regarding anything. He never mentioned about the letter Akash had written and that he had read it. He used to write a letter once a week and made it a point to do so for a month. Initially Akash was surprised but took it as a welcome change and continued to reply to his father. Slowly as time passed, Akash started getting a secure feeling from the letters and he started looking forward for the weekends when he would receive them and also looked forward for the time when he would sit to write them. Akash was nearing his completion of the course, and one day he received a small parcel as a gift from his father and a letter as usual ….

He opened the parcel hurriedly and filled with excitement and to his surprise this was not what he had expected it to be… The gift was the same photo framed in a new photo frame.

The letter read as:

Dear Akash,

Thank you so much, for correcting me. I learnt a big lesson, that there are things that one learns from their children too. I didn’t realize that in the race for getting all the comforts for my family I had distanced myself from all of you.


I know that I cannot give you the childhood back, but trust me Akash; even I have missed much in my life. I also missed the opportunity to see you grow up, to be a part of your growing up. I don’t want to justify my acts, only know that sometimes people do become blind when they love someone too much. I loved my family so much that I wanted to buy all the happiness in the world for them, but I actually forgot to ask them if they really needed is this.


Money is important my son, because it does give us a comfortable life. But the boundaries of what is comfortable is something that each of us have to define, If your son’s tournament is more important to you than your million dollar order or not, is something that we have to take a call on. Its here I faltered, I failed to see where to draw the line.


I will try and correct myself from now on… I have been making the effort for quite sometime and I am sure you have observed that. I need your support to get things back on track as it should be. We both together will now paint the world with our choice and colors.

See you back home soon Akash.

Yours lovingly,
Papa

Reading the letter Akash felt exuberant, he wanted to pack his bags and run off home, but he still had a month to stay. He decided to buy the loveliest of gift for his parents in this month. He got an offer to make a documentary movie on Indian Folk arts and got the production backing needed for his project to get completed. He returned to India with a brilliant record in his course as a gift for his parents. His father , mother and grandmother were there in the airport to receive him .

Relationships are delicate threads; we should not stretch them too much that it tears off… Talk openly, make your concerns be heard, sometimes bottling up things only makes it harder to change later. And above all this: BE HONEST.