My first day at work

Today all of a sudden, I became reminiscent about my first day at work (Real work – 19-10-2006). I joined my company MindTree Ltd as a fresher from College. After a month- and half training we were allocated to projects, and then after the initial introductory session to the team and project, they told me to look into certain stuff for familiarity. My machine was set up with the development environment, required software and other things. They informed me that I will be work for a couple of months in this module and then we will move me into another module. I realized only at a later point that each module was a project by itself. It was a database module where we had to create reports and stored procedures for generating those reports.

So, now I have to start my work on SQL server management studio, and I had hardly used the tool. My mentor Namrata showed me through the database for an hour or so and then told me to explore. There was one CalculationStoredProcedure and some values were calculated wrongly, so my first work was to find out what was wrong in the logic of that stored procedure. Have I worked with SQL server before? NO, we were trained on Oracle database for one training session for a day and during College. All we learnt was Database normalization techniques, ACID properties and worked a few simple queries in MYSQL classes. Wonderful na... and now you have a tool which you have not worked with at all and also something called as a stored procedure for which I need to know “ How to debug”… God level this was for me.

But you see, as a fresher you are full of zest for the work that comes your way and you are always in this raring to go mode. My mentor had neatly set some shortcut keys in the Management studio and told me about them. But I was little over confident about the whole thing called “My memory” and hence did not make any note of the keys and for what they were used. So now, they tell me to see a stored procedure and figure out with Test data what was going wrong with Calculation. Since it was time for lunch, she closes the Management studio, we go for lunch.

Lunch as a fresher in corporate world is completely a different experience. It’s like you are the nursery kid amidst the whole grown up crowd around you and invariably lunch will last for an hour or so and with all the fun of teasing your friends and sometimes getting teased yourself.

Now, after an eventful and fun filled lunch I am back to work at my desk, I open Management studio (SQL Server 2000) and ready to start my work. Ok now I am completely blank as I thought I would remember the shortcut keys and their use. I don’t remember any. Then I remembered that she had pressed F5 to do something after typing the stored procedure name. With that limited knowledge and to see that my mentor is busy, I plan to test the trick on my own. Hence I type the stored procedure name and press the F5 key. But wait, what the hell happened. 46000 odd rows updated. :( :(. I then realize that F5 was to execute and the whole thing EXECUTED WITHOUT MY INTENTION FOR IT. I panic and then run to my mentor to inform her about the tragic incident. To my bad luck she informs that I was not connected to Development database but to Test database which customer used to validate request. :( :( :(. Now, I panic even more, and thousands of thoughts spin in my mind. First of all I am irked at myself for being overconfident about the whole thing. I curse that to my bad luck the database had to be the test database, and I am totally dismayed by the fact that my first day of real work turned out to such a horror for me. Since I am flabbergasted, my mentor after pondering for sometime, tells me the statement which brings some life back to me – “Lets go to your machine and see what really happened”. I explain her all my stupid actions and then she shows me how to see the stored procedure using commands and without using any short cut keys and tool specific features.

Sp_helptext stored procedure name had to be my life saver, which somehow I did not know and did not care to make a note of it when my mentor taught me. But then she goes into the stored procedure and finds that it is a parameterized stored procedure, and wonders how it managed to run only to discover later that there was default parameters defined. Ok, so now what happened, she opens the default parameter table and finds that it was a multiplier of 1 defined in it for that default parameter and hence all the rows previously present got multiplied by a factor of 1 and effectively remained the same. As soon as she told that to me, I sprang to my feet and started thanking her so much to have said what she just now said. Imagine that time I did not have the clue that Test database could be just backed up using production dump in the worst scenario.

I have moved on from that day to what I am today, I can say that there have many such incidents where I have learnt how to do things “on the job” and it has been a pleasure to work with people who have shared the enthusiasm of learning and BTW, I did become an living encyclopedia during my days in the project regarding the stored procedures and calculations done on them. :) But I learnt a valuable lesson that day, I got into a mess because of my over excitement and it is very easy to get carried away when you are in a new phase in life, but we should always keep ourselves grounded. We always have something to learn and sometimes overconfidence can ruin the future for us. So, next time you embark on something new, just take it as another normal day and you will feel that every other day there is some learning for us, there are some newer challenges to be faced. And then your life will be a collection of such stories where you achieved something, learnt something, messed up something, rejoiced something. Take life one day at a time and enjoy in its serenity.

On my Birthday

Sometimes life throws some inexplicable surprise at you that you can only be dazzled by it and nothing else is possible. My birthday was on August 19th and I had a bad day just the day before, for no reason I was feeling very low. Just before going to bed I sat wondering as to how will be birthday turn out to be and desperately wanted it to be “Just fine” and not a repeat of what had happened on that day. Lost in my thoughts and struggling to get some sleep as I lay on my bed watching the moon outside the window in my room, my mobile beeps and forces me out of my lost world. I see a message and assume that It must be from one of close friends with a birthday wish, but to my surprise I find the message from one of my college friend and it turns out to be one of the regular message that she sends us as a routine.


This friend of mine is a very sweet one, she sends the messages to our whole college group every day. Sometimes the messages are funny, sometimes nostalgic, sometimes pathetic shayari, sometimes hopeless romantic, sometimes philosophical and sometimes inspirational. The sweet part is that she sends this to all of us without fail and continues even if you 'don’t respond to her. I like the messages sometimes that she sends us and acknowledge the fact that “this was a good one”. This is her way of remaining in touch with all of us, because she cannot come to meet us when we gather together. It’s because she comes from a very orthodox family where e they don’t allow her to go out unless and until there is something important. Yes, I know sometimes we don’t realize that normal things like going out with friends can be a real gift to someone simply because they hardly get that chance. Anyways as I had said that this message was from her and the message read something like this:

“Face everything in your life ,it will make you discover many things in life and you will realize the meaning of life. Life never seems happy. WE SHOULD MAKE IT HAPPY!! ”

I know many of them will feel that it is one of the full of gyaan message, but the fact was that it came at that moment in my life just few minutes before my birthday and when I especially needed that “something” to go ahead. I messaged her “Thank you” and she wished me “Good Night”. Well, she did not remember my birthday and neither did she wish me, but what remains a fact is that with her simple gesture that she actually gifted me something for my life and I will always cherish that. I know that this message was not exclusively for me, but still it changed that very instant something in me or at least triggered a few thoughts in me. I decided to read that again in the morning and think about it. With a new found hope I slept a peaceful sleep.

Waking up in the morning, getting ready I thought about the message and decided that today and any other day I am going to do things that will make me happy. I am not going to worry about what others did and from today I will do what I am supposed to do ( justly, righteously, ideally) and that will make me happy. Deciding that, I was on my way to office and listening to some new songs in my iPod. One song that played first and continued to play for the rest of the day. That song seemed to answer a few questions which was disturbing me for long…Questions like I did make the decision to be happy, but how will I do it. Sometimes you need a lot of strength to carry out such decisions; I always felt that I never had that much of a courage pr strength both to carry out any of my decision. But I was thinking of making an exception this time and so I needed to gather everything around me and get back that spirit in me, which says , yes I can go for this and I will not FAIL. And this song seem to give me the answer for that question. It’s a prayer to the Almighty and that’s where I derive from inspiration from Everyday of my life.

The song is written by our great poet Rabindranth Tagore find its lyrics in English transcript here below:

http://geetabitan.com/lyric_eng/P/ly_PRAN_BHORIYE_TRISA_HARIY_401.htm

I have tried to translate/summarize the song in English …find it below

Fill me with life, full of life, filling all the thirst in me.
Give me a place in your world, in your abode ||

Give me some more light, more light into my eyes
Fill me with all the music of the world and give me more songs||

Give me more Pain, Give me more pain and give me more knowledge
Remove all the obstacles and protecting me from everything ||

Give me more love, more love, let my ego vanish in that love
Fill me with more nectar of life, fill me with more life, more life ||

Fill me with life, full of life, filling all the thirst in me.
Give me a place in your world, in your abode||

Praying to the Lord Almighty to give me more life, more light, more love and more knowledge…

With this prayer I proceeded to start my day at office and the rest of the day just followed in its melody. This may not be the accurate translation of the song, because I did this on the fly while the song is playing in my iPod. But nevertheless it does convey the core meaning of it.

Balancing emotions

Have you ever faced frequent changes in your mood? This hour you are happy and next hour you are sad. Now you are excited and sometime later you actually are bored. Well, I have always felt and experienced these mood changes in me happening very frequently and apparently within a short span of time.

The difficult aspect of this is that it not only makes it difficult for others to know what’s wrong with you, it also contributes in making you confused about your own behavior.
Then, there is the other category of people who will experience acute emotional turmoil, either they are on cloud nine or they are hopelessly depressed for a longer period of time. This also contributes to a lot of inner confusion along with the fact that people around you might find it difficult to deal with your acute emotions always.

 

Frequent changes or longer period of depression can actually make your life miserable. Let’s see how.
When your mood is changing frequently, it makes it difficult for people to relate to you. That’s because just sometime back they would see you energized and excited and full of life and would expect a certain response from you when they come to you after a short span of time. But instead you will be depressed and perhaps give them a very push away type of answer, which is surely going to make them wonder as to what happened and if they said/did something wrong? If this behavior continues for long, sooner or later people will start avoiding you, because they don’t really understand you. After effects will be
It is bound to affect all your relationships because every relationship has to be nurtured with care and time. Though you may try hard to give it, it’s your frequent changes in your emotion and the behavior affected by it is surely going to ruin the relationships. In this case, the frequency of change of emotions is going to bring in melancholy and confusion in your life.

 

For people with longer period of depression or people who get really excited and are on cloud nine when they are happy might also face problems like, they might find themselves unable to stick on to things they would have started on, and people around them will find it difficult to deal with their incisive emotional outbursts always.

To give you an example: When such a person is happy, he/she will feel so good about themselves that every problem seem small and everything in the world can be achieved. They transcend themselves into an ideal world where they see everything happening as per their whims and wishes. It will be difficult for others to share the same excitement, because they might be level headed and are able to see the practical side of things. Similarly when such a person experiencing intense emotion actually land in depression, the depression is also very intense and stays for a longer period of time. The intensity of it is so much that no amount of pep taking by others will help. And as it stays for longer time it increasingly becomes difficult for others to deal with the person because all their efforts are bound to fail. Basically the intensity of emotions here contribute to leaving you miserable,

So far, we have discussed the problem, their after effects, so what is the solution. The solution of course is different for different category of people.
But the first step remains the same, firstly identify that your mood and your emotional stability is a problem and is actually causing issues in other areas of your life.

 

1. Frequent Changes in mood.

 

• Observing your behavior is the key. Try and make a mental note as to how frequent are the mood switches, what situations lead to the changes.
•  Once you know what situations lead to the changes, Try and remove or avoid those situations from your life. Example: If you see that because of not being on time for a meeting, upsets you, then always make it a point to be on time for the meetings.
•  Of course situations may not be this simple, here you had a control over the issue, sometimes we will not have any control over, in such cases the best option is to ignore the circumstance that upsets you, initially this may be difficult, but it is a matter of practice.
• Most importantly is a decision that you have to make – that no matter what, Today I will not allow my mood to fluctuate. Bring in a rhythm to the day in the start, and continue to flow with that rhythm. Oddly this is something I do and it works best for me, I listen to some song and that sets the tone of the day. Most importantly I try to keep the day as much as possible predictable and avoid landing into any kind of surprise situations. That way the amount of excitement, boredom or disappointment is less.

2. Experiencing intense emotions for longer periods of time.

 

• For this, the solution is a little different from the other category, of course the observing and acknowledgement of the problem still forms the main step. 
• After you know that you are elated or depressed and experience very intense emotions and when you find that people who are close to you are not able to feel the intensity, you have to try and keep a check on yourself.
• When you are excited or happy, watch out if you are overdoing things, In case you are inspired to start on something new, calm yourself down, do a ground reality check, evaluate all the possibilities and then start on the project. In short, force an analytical self of yours to take control over the situation.
• Now coming to the point where you are depressed and facing extreme low points, the solution for this would be entirely opposite of first one, Firstly there are different reasons for becoming depressed, find that out.
•  In case you are depressed because of some negative thoughts about yourself or angry at yourself, don’t ever bring your analytical self to take the driver’s seat. Instead you have to force yourself to think all positive things about you. Find all the reasons why you think you love yourself. Trust me, we all at the very core love ourselves and hence selfishly wish for the happiness for us. 
•  In case you are depressed because of the overload of problems and don’t see a solution for any of it. You have to force your mind to switch off and again don’t analyze now. Simply because, the current mental state you are in will not allow you to think about your problem objectively. Talk to your family and friends and don’t speak off your problems just now. Talk to them later and they will either be able to suggest some solutions or at least will be able to give you a perspective and you may try using that to solve the problem.
•  In case you are hurt by others and this is a common scenario we may find ourselves into, then the approach should be different for different people.
• Talk to the person who has hurt you if he/she is your family or close friend.
• If they are just friends, learn to let it go when things are simple enough, otherwise make it a point to let them know if they are wrong but communicate later, not when you are angry or sad as the point will be mistaken.
• If they are not someone who have any meaning to your life, ignore and learn not to let those comments hurt you.

Above all these, the top most thing is the decision you make as to how will you react to different situations in life that will guide you through the day and also rest of your life.
These are few strategies that I follow or plan to follow to make myself a better individual. I think they will work and let’s take a chance on it and see how it turns out to be. There may be many other ways, I may not be aware. If you know of any, please feel free to share them in the comments section.

Resisting Change!

Change is something that I find myself resisting so much and always, and it’s not just me but many others also. But perhaps this is one thing that one should not resist because it’s the only thing that will actually decide the course of our life. It’s the only thing that allows us to evolve, grow and perhaps also paints our lives with its different colors and shades.


If we look at nature we can see how much change is involved, nature is perhaps more alluring for the changes it shows with different weathers. The constant greenery of spring would have been boring if we did not see the barren trees in the winter. Then why are we so resistant to change? Why is it that we detest any change as soon as we get the hint of it? I think basically it is because of 2 prominent reasons.

Insecurity:

I guess it has to do with the basic human psychology of seeking security. We all as human being, the very core of us are very insecure. Have you ever wondered why does a new born baby clasps your finger with its little hands (medical reasons are there I know), but there also must be something which is psychological and may be that it is also trying to find a secure feeling.

Even grown up people like us may feel insecure because of the slightest of changes in our way of doing things. But we fail to understand that we may not be very sure of anything, sometimes not even the way we are :P. When we don’t know ourselves so well, why do we resist the change? Because we presume that we know what we want in our life, and what makes us happy.

To give an example a scenario like changing your current job. You will resist the idea because you are already into your comfort zone and are feeling secure there, Your fear of losing the familiar faces around you (though in reality they may not contribute to your career) and also the fear of not being able to adjust to the new place and new demands of the new work will make you feel overwhelmed. The fear of failure will be heavily in your mind and that is enough to build an insecure feeling in you and so you start resisting the change.

Laziness:

Oh yes, sometimes we don’t want to change simply because we don’t want to out any extra effort that is needed to set the things in order after a change, we are Lazy. One always wants to live in a peaceful slumber. Every change, no matter how small it is, will require us to do some work to make way for the old to go and the new thing to come in. But somehow we are lazy to do that, and in order to escape it we come up with beautiful reasons.

One of the changes that I have resisted for long is the one to read, recently I am trying to change that and hopefully I will find it making some impact in my life. I was always put off by the fact , that I have to sit in one place and read so many pages… so much of time is required and so much of effort. That whole feeling will become a roadblock and no matter how it is, I would have this averse feeling towards inculcating this habit.

The other one is waking up early and going for a jog. This one is a typical Laziness related resistance to change. I simply cannot come to terms with that to Stay Fit, I need to sacrifice those couple of hours of my beautiful sleep :P.

We need to welcome and accept the change and let it create the picture it wants to create. Life is beautiful if it is flowing free like a river, not when it is filled with only stillness of the lake. Because then the energy in you might get wasted and rotten. Its best use will be to make use of the energy. We just need to be preparing ourselves for the change.

Please feel free to share your thoughts on this subject and experiences and your views too.

Father and Son

Akash turned 23 today, a youth of this generation and filled with excitement and enthusiasm to take off from here towards a journey to achieve his aspirations. Today is his birthday and he will be flying to London School of arts for his degree in Fine Arts. Like any other year, this year too he threw a party for his friends in one of the restaurants, watched movie is some multiplex and returned home. He was welcomed by his mother and grandmother when he entered home, they gifted him birthday presents. Then his mother accompanied him to his room to help him pack his stuff for the journey.

Akash was going to London for 2 years and then will return to India. His father was opposed to the whole idea from the beginning and in fact they had a bitter argument when Akash informed everyone at home about his decision. His father wanted him to do an MBA and take on reins of a family business and Akash did not want to do it, simply because he hated his father for his business and his business mindedness in life. His mother remained a mute spectator when the father- son argument went on and on...

After his mother finished packing things for Akash, she instructed him to sleep for sometime now and then in about 8PM he had to get ready to leave. It was 3 PM now, Akash stretched himself on bed and tried to sleep, but could not. He felt restless, for some unknown reason. Initially he ignored it, thinking that it was only because he was perhaps too excited about the new course, new place and a new life that was waiting for him there, or may be because he was tensed about the journey ahead and all the formalities in the airport. He tried to divert his mind to something else by playing some music on his iPod. But that also did not seem to relax him. As he paced up and down his room, suddenly his hand touched something and then there was a sound of broken glasses on the floor, when he looked around he found the Photo frame. He took it in his hands and took the photo out from the frame, it was his childhood photo, he was 2 years old then and his father was holding him in his arms. As he gazed at the photo, his eyes welled up with tears and he felt his throat choked due to the sudden emotions that gathered. He remembered how he saw his father change, after his 5th birthday he never saw his father on any of his subsequent birthdays and also he was rarely at home. He remembered how his father had immersed himself in his work and was always on business tours and meetings, hardly sparing anytime for his family. When important decisions about his college, courses or other things had to be done, it was his mother who had to take care of it. As emotions started growing in his mind, he started feeling an acute sense of agitation and was clueless how to subdue it down. Fighting it alone himself, he sat on his bed and suddenly found his hand on a letter pad. Something stuck him and he looked at the photo again and started writing down… what he wrote was a letter to his Father.

In about an hour, he finished writing the letter and neatly folded it and kept it on his bed. It was now time for him to get ready to leave to the airport, he cross checked his documents and got ready and left for the airport. Even at the airport it was only his mother, grandmother and friends who were there to see him off. He was happy to have them all, but some corner of his mind, he always knew that he was missing his father a lot. At this point in time, a simple hug from his father would have given him enough encouragement to see through the ordeal of 2 years. It was missing as expected, yet he hoped…

Many days and months passed by, then one day, Akash’s father entered Akash’s room looking for an official file of his. While looking for the file, he saw this neatly folded paper in front of the table lamp and took it. Opening the paper, he read the letter, it was the letter that Akash had wrote the day he was leaving for London. The letter read something like this...

Dear Papa,


Today I am leaving for London, as I was trying to take a quick nap just sometime ago; I accidently saw this photo of ours... Isn’t it so cute and lovely Papa? The way you held me then… I don’t know why, but today suddenly I had the same urge that you will hold me again, hug me and tell me some inspiring words. But alas, like every other day today also you are so busy, that you didn’t remember that I am leaving today and that it is my birthday today…You remembered none of this. None of this is important to you. What is important is your business?


You have never been to my school for the Parents Teachers meetings, neither during the Annual day functions. You did not take part in choosing the college for my studies; you don’t even know the names of any of my friends. You don’t know where I spend my days, when do I return? Those were not important because they don’t give you any profits right?


It was heart wrenching at times to see how my friend’s father supported him when he was learning cycling- I learnt it alone with the help from some of my friends, or when he was playing in a tennis tournament – I sat alone during the breaks as no one had come to watch me play from my family. Sometimes I felt jealous of the fact that my friend’s father was there with him to support him. His father scolded him too when he did mistakes and when he scored less marks, and sometimes I would see my friend come after having fought with his father, but then next day things would be alright between them like a magic. I never had those moments in my life. I never had the person to whom I could go and share my thoughts with. Why were you not there with me during such times?

I don’t hate you Papa, I really really admire you for you ability in your work, business and honesty. But amidst all this what I miss is a caring father who would be proud of his son’s achievements however little it is, who would correct his son when he is wrong. And I don’t hate your business either. I only don’t want to turn into a machine and hence I won’t choose your business, I don’t want my children to get a robotic Dad who would get them whatever they wished for and never be with them.


Today I really needed you papa, but you are not here, sometimes that makes me feel, If I remained the 2 year old kid that I am in that photo, perhaps you would be with me a little longer and maybe things wont be so bitter between us as it is now.

I have to leave now Papa, take care.


Yours Loving Son,
Akash...

As he finished reading the letter, tears rolled down his eyes and he felt a strong desire to see his son now and hug him, but it was not possible and he realized that it was late. He was furious on himself and he was partly unhappy that Akash said all that he said in the letter so late. Had he known this earlier he would have changed his style of life and spent more time with his son. In the quest for giving his son all the comforts of the world, he snatched away the basic essence of it. He kept staring at the photo of his 2 year old son and tears kept falling onto the floor. Quite sometime passed and he remained seated in the same place and same posture as he had been while reading the letter. Then suddenly he realized that he could not let more time run through and immediately took the decision to change himself at least to a certain extent. He know had a sense of urgency to get back his connect with his son, but also realized that he had to be cautious and all of a sudden things don’t change. He decided that he will let the relationship take sometime to again form. He decided to write a letter to Akash.

He wrote a very normal letter to Akash, asking about his stay, place, and studies and future plans and if he needed any help regarding anything. He never mentioned about the letter Akash had written and that he had read it. He used to write a letter once a week and made it a point to do so for a month. Initially Akash was surprised but took it as a welcome change and continued to reply to his father. Slowly as time passed, Akash started getting a secure feeling from the letters and he started looking forward for the weekends when he would receive them and also looked forward for the time when he would sit to write them. Akash was nearing his completion of the course, and one day he received a small parcel as a gift from his father and a letter as usual ….

He opened the parcel hurriedly and filled with excitement and to his surprise this was not what he had expected it to be… The gift was the same photo framed in a new photo frame.

The letter read as:

Dear Akash,

Thank you so much, for correcting me. I learnt a big lesson, that there are things that one learns from their children too. I didn’t realize that in the race for getting all the comforts for my family I had distanced myself from all of you.


I know that I cannot give you the childhood back, but trust me Akash; even I have missed much in my life. I also missed the opportunity to see you grow up, to be a part of your growing up. I don’t want to justify my acts, only know that sometimes people do become blind when they love someone too much. I loved my family so much that I wanted to buy all the happiness in the world for them, but I actually forgot to ask them if they really needed is this.


Money is important my son, because it does give us a comfortable life. But the boundaries of what is comfortable is something that each of us have to define, If your son’s tournament is more important to you than your million dollar order or not, is something that we have to take a call on. Its here I faltered, I failed to see where to draw the line.


I will try and correct myself from now on… I have been making the effort for quite sometime and I am sure you have observed that. I need your support to get things back on track as it should be. We both together will now paint the world with our choice and colors.

See you back home soon Akash.

Yours lovingly,
Papa

Reading the letter Akash felt exuberant, he wanted to pack his bags and run off home, but he still had a month to stay. He decided to buy the loveliest of gift for his parents in this month. He got an offer to make a documentary movie on Indian Folk arts and got the production backing needed for his project to get completed. He returned to India with a brilliant record in his course as a gift for his parents. His father , mother and grandmother were there in the airport to receive him .

Relationships are delicate threads; we should not stretch them too much that it tears off… Talk openly, make your concerns be heard, sometimes bottling up things only makes it harder to change later. And above all this: BE HONEST.

Who decides?

“Life isn’t fair. Nor is it reasonable, rational, sensible, logical, nice, or fluffy. Life is strange, ridiculous, cruel, fantastic, bizarre, whimsical, capricious, and just a little bit dirty”

The above statements is something I read recently in an article and felt it’s so true? We all want our lives to be beautiful, but somehow circumstances show a different picture always. Is it true that we always find our life in a mess and a crappy situation? Or is it that we would have created some of those situations? Some of them we had no control over, but some which we could/can control, how much effort do we actually put in making them turn out better for us? Or is it that we tend to always cling on to the agony of the past?

Two lines and such a flurry of questions your mind is waiting to ask you. Sadly some of the questions for which we have no answers and for some we don’t want to find an answer, for rest its more like we don’t want to accept the answer that our mind is shouting to us.
I had arguments with my friends about “Man is a product of circumstances, or Circumstances are a product of Man’s actions?” At that time, I had vouched so much that – “man is a product of circumstances” but not having matured a little more – I would say that “it works both ways” when you mean “All Circumstances in our life”.

In our scriptures I think the best example would be the way Karna’s character and life is portrayed in Mahabharata. He is born to an affluent Kshatriya household but is abandoned in the river Ganges by his mother for societal concerns – this is something that is not under his control. After that he is brought up by a Shudra who serves as a Charioteer to the Kuru family was also beyond his control. But what is rather interesting is the fact that at his boyhood he realizes that he wants to learn archery and “art of war” like other Kshatriyas and takes control of his desire from here on. He approaches Dronacharyya to impart him education but he refuses to. Then his desires grow even stronger and he approaches Parusharam to teach him. He agrees thinking that he is a “Brahmin” boy and he will in turn use this knowledge to teach others. He learns and also becomes a good archer. Here we can see how amidst the existing circumstance one can take control and still work to shape their life they want it to be.

What is admirable is the fact the small boy knew that he HAD to learn this and for this no matter what difficulties he has to face, he would still continue his quest for mastery over the craft and learn it from any source. It’s a similar story of Eklavya too.
After that, he is now young and ready to take on the world, when he proclaims that if Arjun is selected as the best archer then Arjun should defeat him in the competition. But the fact that he is not allowed to participate in the competition is a bit sad (personally) for his caste is something beyond his control. But later point of his life, when the Game of dice happens or the time when Kunti and Krishna approach him to take sides of his brothers / what is right, those were of course in his control and what he decides and does finally shaped his life the way it was.

Just like his life, we all find ourselves in different situations, situations which are difficult, strange, undeserving, and sometimes they are funny, pleasant and lovely too. But it is completely left to us to decide which among them are in our control and take charge of such situations in our life. We have to choose to decide and deciding that we have to choose is also a decision. A quote that lingers onto my mind now is …. “Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.” – Ayn Rand.

Sometimes it does make me ponder over these, had there been no difficulties will there be a sense of achievement at all, is it not true that one becomes more desirable because of the presence of the other? Pain, exists, but so does happiness and pleasure and perhaps there meaning and the fact they are so much desirable to all of us is also because the opposite exists in this world. We have to face the struggle, in order to take the pride in overcoming the obstacles and facing the challenges in its face. Childbirth is the most painful thing that a woman faces and yet everyone woman wants to be a MOTHER. Bringing up children is a challenge that every parent faces and yet everyone wants to have THEIR own child. Summer is so hot, that’s the reason there is beauty in the rain. Rose still remains beautiful amidst its thorns right? So why cry, when we face the thorns, let us make the effort to eliminate them and if it has hurt us, let’s allow it to heal and then we can think of further actions

So if we think that we need to create a world of our own and work towards achieving a life that would be worth living for, striving to reach that point where we can say HONESTLY – “I gave it my ALL – to be here and to the BEST of my abilities”, then we have to decide from today that we should take control of all situations that can be controlled and take the decisions judiciously to change our life and our world.

A story of my tailor didi

In our life, there are few days that you would always cherish, few moments that leave a lasting impression. There will also be some of those days which you would feel that should not have been a part of your life, some hardships which you faced and felt that you don’t deserve them. But seldom do we realize that most of our lessons and experience actually comes from these hardships and not when we are laying on the bed of roses. And above all these, sometimes we learn a lot by mere observation and thinking about it deep within. Most of my lessons I learnt, values I inculcated was by observing people around me. How they lived, what they thought, how they carried themselves through good and bad times. One can never say that you have learnt all and know all, because as you go on meeting new people, new stories of their life unfolds in front of you and sometimes there life also influences you directly or indirectly.


I also had a similar phase, where I did not like the way my life was shaping up, because I did not like the place where we stayed, I did not like the school I studied, and many more. I hardly realized that most of my values and thoughts were a direct output of those bad times we had. Yes, I know it is easy to always look at sorrow in poetic admiration and has certain romanticism attached to it and especially when you are not having one. But I don’t admire the bad time of my life, I only acknowledge the lessons it has taught me.

Apart from my family, there have been some more people whom I actually saw (did not interact much though) and did not realize that they would still remain in my thoughts even after years of moving away from the place of stay. We had a Tailor Didi in our neighborhood and we used to give some of our clothes to her for stitching. She was not alone; she had 3 other sisters, and a window mother to take care of. The youngest sister went to a Government school to study and rest others did the stitching and ran the household. They were in a difficult situation with respect to the economics. They did not have enough money to buy some space for a shop of their own. They used to get the clothes from other tailors and stitch and give it back to them. They used to socialize and come and tell the neighbors to give them for anything that they wanted to get stitched.

The family consisted of 4 girls, an aged mother and father. Each of them contributing their part to run the household and taking care of ailing parents. The youngest girl who went to school used to deliver the stitched clothes and collect the money from houses, the other 2 daughters used to stitch the clothes and take care of household. The Tailor Didi used to go to the shops and collect the clothes to be stitched and come home and start her stitching work. Their house was a small one, the rooms were so small that hardly one could place any furniture and sit, but they managed to stay there. They toiled hard, day and night to make the ends meet. Among the four daughters, 3 of them were of marriageable age and hence it was understandable when the Tailor Didi’s mother complained that she was unable to arrange for their marriage. But the fact that really touched me was to see how these daughters ran the household with a small business set off from their home; with the aspiration of making a decent living was the one that drove them. You could see them sometimes fight for their right in the queue for water in front of those borewells not because they loved doing it, but it was a necessity and they had to do it to get what they deserved. Amidst all these hardships they still kept a smiling face. The world is a difficult place to live, if you don’t know how to stand for your rights and fight for them. They did exactly that and at times I used to wonder how did they get so much courage and self belief to fight out these circumstances, I came to know only later that circumstances in life teaches you and you grow with them.

Today after 11 years of having seen their struggle I feel so happy to see a small shop that they have bought in the main road and the efficiency with which they carry out their business.It’s heartening to see that one of them is now married and youngest one is completing her class 12th exams. I feel an immense sense of love for life where the human spirit knows to fight against all odds and create a place for them in the world solely by their hard work. No matter how small it is and how insignificant it may be to the world, one can always feel a sense of accomplishment after having achieved the smallest of their dreams past a long hard struggle.
My best wishes for this family that did not deter in their courage / patience in the fight.
I hope I learn from them and face world and all the challenges with a brave face.

Story of Justice?

The morning begins today with a quick view of all the daily Indian newspaper, the headlines read like this….


“A quarter century after Bhopal, seven sentenced” and then below “Former UCIL officials granted bail” – Indian express.
“Justice Delayed, Denied” and then below “Convicted Get Bail Pending Appeal to HC” – Times Of India


These headlines refer to the Bhopal Gas tragedy which happened in the fateful night of December 2/3rd 1984 with leakage of Methyl Isocyanides. The leakage of the gas killed thousands of people and left many others adversely affected by the gas. The court case ran for a record of 25 years ended today ( June 8, 2010) with the few of them involved in this getting convicted for a period of 2 years and an immediate bail.


The papers also state that “the sentence was reduced because of old age of those convicted, also because of their absence on the day of the tragedy and also one of them cannot be prosecuted by the Indian judiciary because he belongs to a foreign land.” No one even questioned the fact that today the Old age factor is due to the prolonged period this case has been fought in the court battle. No one questions that of course when you are responsible for a culpable homicide you will definitely not be there in the place to bear the consequences. You will obviously ensure that you are in the safest corner of earth.


This is the so far from the justice that our judiciary should have given to the victims of this tragedy. This is the not the justice that the poor people affected for 25 years of their life actually waited for. The judiciary cannot/ did not see the dead bodies, the emancipated limbs of the children, starving and suffering of the remaining people, the broken hearts, and hope of the thousands who still remained after the tragedy, with a hope that one day they will get Justice. It can only see the facts on paper as evidences produced, forgetting every human emotions and values. The Non-living constituted a far greater proof of innocence. And the death given to those thousands could not/did not constitute a stronger enough evidence for a tougher sentence. Today those who survived the tragedy would think that all the hardships they faced and all the perseverance and patience that they showed in all these 25 years to gain justice were in vain and that we no longer live in a world where we can expect to get justice especially if you are a poor victim.


Was it just the Bhopal Gas Tragedy that the courts mishandled – NO, there have been many more such cases and some popular due to the media attention and some of them unheard of, some waited for the justice and died. For some the justice came so late that they forgot that it actually mattered – it only mattered to the officials who would mark the Case as Closed. Justice delayed is denied – is actually a famous phrase but the profoundness of the statement is hardly understood by the law makers of this land and also not understood by the judiciary of our land.


If the courts of our country and the people have not realized so far, they will soon realize that sooner or later the younger generation of our country will soon loose all trust that they have in law abiding country where justice (was supposed to prevail) prevails and was supposed to be one of the most independent pillars in the democratic government setup. They will learn that an ideal just society cannot / does not exist. They will know from the day they are born that they have to survive and even if that means forgetting all the morals and just be guided by the animal instinct of survival. Sooner or later the selfishness of we humans will destroy this world and there will be no civilization and mass destruction everywhere.


Justice does not lie in those 440 articles that are there in Constitution but in the very heart of every human conscience. Human conscience, which is free from all the corruption in the outer world. It can only see the truth. Its voice speaks louder to you when you are alone. Allow the truth to prevail and judge everything based on this truth and guided by the moral values of humanity.


Justice should not be measured based on mere facts on papers of evidence but they very result of an action, circumstances and should have a human value (read this twice). Human value should not be decided by the number of degrees one has, or the property one owns. Every human life is valuable for this nation. Can you for sure say that the children who are suffering today would not have been the best of the youth of today and on whose eyes we could have seen a progressing India?


Lastly, I can only pray that we be guided by the best in us, and live our life with conviction to the ideals that is in us. Let us not snatch away the hope from our future generation, but let us learn from the mistakes and create a just society and every individual has his/her part to play in it. Rise above the selfishness of gaining your ends when your opinion is asked on any matter and in the true spirit be guided by your conscience and fight for which you think is right.

My Views

So here I am again trying to articulate some of my own thoughts and also share the experience of having read this particular book.


Disclaimer: To begin with, I am not writing any review of the book, neither this is an analysis or criticism of the views the author presents in the book.

I am not an avid book lover, I read books only when I have nothing to look into and when I am really pulled by that book. Choice of book depends mostly on the title, the title should strike me, and then comes the reviews on the back of the book and then I see the Author.

Same thing happened a year and half back, I had seen this book in one of the Landmark stores inside Forum Mall while we went for a team outing, and the title stayed with me. Somehow the book just pulled me and I tried not to take a note of it. Next thing, that happened was out of a mere coincidence I found the book in one of my friend’s cupboard, on asking their views on it, it seemed a safe bet to read on.

So, as I set myself out for an onsite work to a far off land all alone (actually not, but in the company of 4, completely new team), I decided to purchase the book to keep me company. Ok, now comes the heights of idiocy, all the time (approx 6 months) of my stay there, I hardly found the time or the mental peace to sit with the book. So my purchase was a waste since it did not serve the purpose then.


One fine day when I am back to my country and with my family and I am restless for some unknown reason I pick this book to read. I am quite a rational person and the main rationality behind picking this book was to attaining divinity in terms of developing higher levels of patience. But alas, the story unfolds differently from my prediction. In fact the book gives me a hard time in terms of reading speed and achieving my target. To be precise, I could not read more than 10 pages of the book in my initial days.


Slowly, I started enjoying this weird experience. I felt a challenge being posed to me in the form of that book and I did manage to read one full chapter at a stretch in the end. It gave me a feeling of accomplishment having done that. When I actually write all this, I don’t intend say that the book was so bad or grouse. Rather, the fact is that the book was very well written and something that I will always cherish of having read it.


The story as it unfolded left me completely dazed, It is not a psychological thriller or something but a purely philosophical fiction. There is a statutory warning by the author before you begin reading the book and every sentence lives up to the warning stated. The statement by the author makes you uncomfortable in the beginning and also makes you think that perhaps the author is very conscious of the readers for whom this book is written. I can also add in the same breath that not every one can relate to the book with same intensity. The reason why I say this is because I was also one of them who did not really understand the underlying fire in it.


Well, for those who know me will actually tell you the kind of egoistic snob I am. For a book to have some effect on me, it needs to live up to too high levels of arrogance in itself, and the author and the thoughts presented in that book are just that. :P


Ok, now after the premise about my feelings for the book, let’s get into what happened while I was reading the book. As I started reading the book, the continuity in my reading was always disrupted due to various reasons. But then, it became more challenging for me to actually create a time period everyday just to read the book and be completely in the world that the author creates. The characters make you experience so many varied emotions all at the same time. It also has its own romantic touches but there is a beautiful subtlety in certain paragraphs that can leave the reader spell bound. Especially the dialogues between the protagonist and another main character are some of the most loved paragraphs for me.


The book actually touches upon many issues as the story unfolds in front of us, starting from the education system – which sometimes only concentrates on students learning factual details and without giving them any opportunity to develop their own thinking skills. Though I personally did not like the protagonist of the story in the beginning, In fact I hated him the most and even though he is portrayed in most heroic terms I have an irritation for the character, not for how he is… But for how he behaves.


Then the story takes you when the college student is a young man and is setting his foot in the professional world. The conflicting approaches of his peers and his thought of life and his work is portrayed in the most subtle terms. You will find it very interesting to see how sometimes people are lured to live a life guided by so many prejudices and visions, which are not their own. It’s a journey for one to live his life on his own terms. For someone it is her quest to find a balance between the two worlds and which cannot exist. For yet another person, it is seeing his own values but when he himself has tarnished them.


The most lovable of part of the book is the world and emotions that the author creates with her style of writing; it is definitely going to stay in your mind for long…


Anyone with a philosophical bent of mind can take a pick on this one. And yes, though the author states either you agree to “All” she says or Disagree to all she says. I am quite a believer in rationality but not to an extent portrayed in the book to be an unemotional snob.


Book : FountainHead
Author: Ayn Rand

Is dreamland created? If Yes by whom?

On many occasions I have heard people express a desire to settle down in a city or place which they find will give them a comfortable life. Many say that they want to go here, there in search of that place and express it like “It’s an ideal land for making and living a comfortable life there” and if you hear it from the college students you are definitely going to hear a phrase like “dream land” or a “dream country or ideal country” attached to it. I understand the fascination that one has about settling down abroad. I also sense the same excitement when you think of a “dream land” or an “ideal country”. But there is one question that sometimes just shores up in my mind; does a country on its own become a dream/ideal land? Or is it the responsibility of the people living in the country to make it an ideal place to live in and a place of admiration?



I always feel the latter is true, because imagine a place with clean and well laid roads, numerous trees and clear sky above your head, every house is a mansion and birds chirping and every thing that gives you comfort is available to you but no people has yet inhabited there . Now place yourself in that place, ask yourself will you be happy? And yes, perhaps you won’t be unhappy the first few days, but as days pass you will surely miss something and that will make you unhappy. Let’s now take our example a little forward and say that you are not alone but with your family and loved ones, but still you will be not be happy for long.


The thing that you will miss is the human connectivity. Man is a very much a social animal and he has always been productive when surrounded by people. We all seek is not a beautiful place with no one, but a place where we have people and their presence makes the place more beautiful. Of course you will also feel tired of the crowd around you and then you need to take a break and go to some place alone to spend sometime with yourself and come back rejuvenated and take on life with more excitement. We should understand ourselves better when is it that we need the connectivity and when do we want to be with ourselves and most Importantly this should be connected to people around you in subtle terms so that they understand you.


Now let us leave the psychological and sentimental analysis apart, and see how do people create an ideal place? Nature has given abundant resources everywhere, but yes you may complain that this place is a desert and that place is always flooded. But something missing in a place is a sure shot indication of something else that is present. It’s up to us to make use of the resources available to its best. Let’s take an example of a city that is full of people and is also dirty. The crowd is a factor that perhaps we have no control over but of course we can control the pollution. Its simple things that will help us do it.


• Avoid throwing garbage on the road, walk a little and throw it in a dustbin provided.
• Don’t litter stations and public places, it’s our property and it’s our duty to keep that clean.
• Try and minimize parking in the road side and thereby blocking the traffic.
• Be considerate to your neighboring vehicles and they will in turn be considerate to you.
• Avoid honking on roads, when there is a traffic jam your honking does not help.
• Keep the surrounding of your house clean.
• Maximize using public transport and you will find lesser congestion on roads due to vehicles. Etc.


These are just a few things that as a citizen we can do keep the place clean. If all of us are self aware then it helps the government and in turn also helps us in creating that dream land.

Contemplation

Hmmm… so my mind wanders through a sea of thoughts while travelling. Sometimes they are not so related at all, and sometimes I feel they are the deepest feelings that I have felt or may be the innermost desires/ dreams that I have always had.


So here I was travelling to office today in my office cab. It’s an everyday affair that we have to cross this main road and reach office. There is Bangalore Metro work in progress in that road. In the beginning when the work started I was so irked by the amount of chaos the whole construction work would create for the commuters, but slowly with each passing day , my anger started subsiding and curiosity started growing. I would peep out to have a glimpse of what the workers in that area were actually doing. I saw them sweating it out in the heat of the scorching sun for days together and getting all dusty, muddy and greasy on the rainy days. Each of them was working to do something which I never understood but nevertheless they all worked hard. I only wondered “why they are digging the earth in those odd angles?” Or “why are they digging it so deep?” “How is the metro tracks going to be laid?” And as I watched those huge machine equipments, boulders, etc... I was only amazed how much of work was being done.


Today while travelling the same path, I saw the pillars getting erected, the iron rods being arranged and a cement concrete being placed. They are laying the foundation for the over bridge. The foundation below the ground is about 7-10 feet deep made of complete concrete and iron. Ok, I know everyone is wondering what is so wonderful about it, Well I was just thinking about the day when the work is complete and the city has a new flyover (I am not sure if the Metro will be running on the tracks above the flyover, see I have to get my data corrected.) lets leave those details aside for now. I was talking about the day when those cement concrete and iron pillars will carry the weight of so many vehicles/ trains. That day the worker who was a part of this project will have all the right to feel elated, he can always feel that this is what I gifted the city, the channels, the lifeline for it to keep running through with my and my fellow workers blood and sweat.

Isn’t that feeling a unique thing in itself that everyone of us possess for any of our creations which gets complete and is in its complete glory, no matter how small and how insignificant it is to the world ( well, I don’t mean their contribution is insignificant). I mean it’s just not the money that you get from your work; it also has a lot to do with the satisfaction that you get from doing it and doing it well. I am sure as the pillar was being built from strength to strength their joy of watching it and knowing that their hands / their strength and the Engineer’s mind behind those plans are responsible for this, and that thought alone should make them so happy and satisfied and proud of their work/achievement.


Just the other day in one of the functions in our Company, they had a stall where people flocked and when I peeked in , I saw that there was a potter who was making those beautiful flower vases of mud and giving it to them. Everyone took one of it and walked off. But the most interesting part was to actually watch something being mould by someone. It is a unique experience to know that we have the ability to create and also to see how others create and salute them for their ability to do that. Did we ever connect that attribute to our teachers and parents and thought they are like the potters who actually mould us into what we are today? Don’t you think that we should ponder over these thoughts and acknowledge their presence and meaning in our lives.


As I say this, I also think that as they groomed they also inculcated the same values in us, the value and the ability to create / to nourish / to appreciate the creations.


We all must understand the pains that is associated with any creations in any field, be it the manufacturing sector, agriculture, construction sector, or the software sector or the music sector, Film, Paintings, any form of creation is worth our salute and a recognition to those who have this ability to create. I still remember the small little greeting card that I used to make while we were studying in 5th STD during Christmas and New Year and gift to our friends; they were so meaningful to me. It did not have those expensive color papers or any fancy things on it, but the fact that we took the time out for making those cards and choosing the colors which our friends liked and give it to them in the end and see them smile to you was so special.

When we found happiness in doing those little things and feeling exuberant joy in them, then why is it that today we forget that we all are born to nourish/ create and just not lead our lives counting the money we earn? And why is it that after we grow up we attribute the act of creation to only certain kind of work? And why is it that we all forget to take the pride in our work? Should we always find joy in things that have a monetary, societal value alone? Should creation be limited by such boundaries and should we all associate our joy to the monetary / job benefits alone? Hmmm just some arbitrary thoughts…

An Experience reading God's Debris

Reading a book is of course an experience, and this post is mainly to share my experience of having read one of the books in the very recent past.

The book is Scott Adam’s “God’s debris”.
Scott Adam is the famous creator of the Dilbert cartoons. Personally I am not so much a fan of any cartoon strip ... (You see I don’t really have a funny bone). But I actually liked this particular strip to a large extent. Maybe I identified with the context more than anything else.

Ok Now, for the reason behind my interest in reading the book. Firstly the Title of the book  seems very interesting… (No, I am a very religious person but if someone has given such a title I ought to know the reason behind it).

Next was the Author, I liked his cartoons and wanted to see his serious side of writings too. Again I don’t consider writing those cartoon strips as non-serious business, simply because I guess it takes a lot of effort to come up with the comedy that is mostly projected in his cartoon strips. Third being that a friend of mine suggested me to read that book.

The time when I actually started with this book was also important and perhaps that’s the reason I enjoyed it. I was in a very contemplative mood and was basically pondering over many issues in my life in general. So on one such day when my mind refused to think for any of my problems, I picked up the book to read and what a feeling it actually gave me. I haven’t completed the book so far finished only 3/4th of it (though it is merely 144 pages). Then you must be thinking why I am writing about the book, that’s fairly simple because I just wanted the experience of this book to be treasured. No, this is not a review for the book, no critical analysis will follow. I will only try and explain how this book made me feel in one of those losing moments in my life.

As I began to read this book, it gave me a feeling of something that we term as “out of the box” thinking, especially the old man’s ideas. I don’t exactly remember but I think I heard a particular term that was used for such thinking as projected in this book by the old man. It is such a free flowing conversation between two gentlemen and so engaging for the reader too. In fact with each of those chapters you would want to be placed in that old man’s chair and ask those questions yourself. But you will also realize how difficult it is to have such a radical view on certain subjects. You will realize how our mind has been trained to think in a particular pattern regarding few subjects. The most profound truths that we would have accepted are questioned or we can say are reasoned out in this book. It has a language in which he will be able to convince you, but also raise a few questions on your own self too.

Some of the things that I concluded after reading it are:
We as humans are exposed to the environment around us and t a great extent our thinking is molded by the things we read, are taught, we observe and slowly by experience just take them to be the truth. And sometimes we also reach a stage where we would refuse to question our beliefs to a very large extent. The idea is always to have a very openness to receive thoughts from everywhere, validate and reason it out and then accept or reject or formulate your own theories.


On the lighter side, people who are interested in abstract discussions and have a philosophical bent of mind, do read this book, it will surely make you amused.

Yeh Safar

Ek raasta hain zindagi , joh tham gaye toh kuch nahin..

Yeh kadam kisi mukaam pe jo jum gaye toh kuch nahin..

Song from Kaala pathar... one of those rare movie themes attempted by Yash Chopra..
Writers .. Salim Javed.
The song pictures the undying spirit of a man who is ready to travel and fing his own course.


We all are in a journey of life right from the time when we are infant.
And from that stage we have evolved and the journey of that evolution is something that makes out what it is.


The journey so far has seen us fall when we still learning to stand up and walk, yet we remained undeterred and pulled ourselves up and took it forward. With every fall, we gained strength and with every heights that we conquered, we gained confidence. Lets face it!!
We all fail at some stage or the other and failure is not the verdict on one's life, its the honest effort that should be a verdict on your life. The world judges you by your success rate... True.


But whats the one thing that defines the value you have for yourself? Thats the undying spirit to move and conquer all the obstacles in your path and make wonderful memories of the times of this journey to achieve what you have set out to achieve.

Parting thoughts - " Let us take ourselves forward in this journey carrying the lessons of the past and regaining the undying spirit for facing all impediments in the course of our journey.

Dedication and Work

There is a janitor in our floor in my office; she is in charge of the 2 floors. Her duty sheet is hung in the restroom and she dutifully cleans everything in that place to perfection and enters her times in that sheet everyday. Her duty schedule is every hour starting from 8:30 AM – 5:30 PM. I was marveled by the sense of duty or let’s say the dedication that she has for her work. For the nature of the work is not something one can really feel good about, (No, It is a painful job according to me to clean others toilets)



The reason for this post is not that I want to preach something about her job, but because today, when I saw her precision of carrying out her task for a brief moment I was reminded of many people whom I have seen admired so far.


For example:


While I was in my Class 7, I had an English teacher and her work was to teach us English which she did like rest of any normal teachers in the school. But there was a particular quality in her that I noticed and find it interesting to point it out.


Most teachers so far for my English course would just correct the answers and when it came to the Essay writing and letter writing section would just put a tick and allot some marks and move ahead. But this teacher of mine had all the patience to mark the lines which she found erroneous and corrected the sentence in red ink. It used to make my paper too colorful :P with all the red marks here, there and everywhere. But I have learnt a lot in the process, because my goal in her subject used to now be that she should not be able to point anything with that red ink. Though I did not succeed in that, but I learned the subject well.


If she was like the rest of the teachers I would have never realized the mistakes that I did so often. She once called me to her chamber and advised me on things that were of little importance to her and guided me to write more, read more… Once my father happened to see my English papers and said that she was a good teacher who wants you to learn the right things sooner and also told me to think about the effort that she had put in her work or dedication that she had in it, she never minded straining herself so much to correct the sentences not only for my paper but for the 40+ students in the class.


My First mentor in my first company and first project was also someone who had an incredible amount of dedication for her work. She was the one who taught me that even when you think you have nothing to work on… Evaluate your work and find out things that can be smoothened, streamlined and add value, create utilities for the tasks that you repeatedly do and keep it handy. I saw her coming to office to finish some of the clean up on databases after she had resigned and was serving the notice period. It was such a rare sight to see when someone had already resigned and is termed as a free bird was in office on a Sunday trying to clean up and make things perfect from her end.


I saw my father sometimes working late into nights to prepare a balance sheet as the financial year end approaches and his part time workload increases and my mother sitting next to him without any complaints. And my father went about his work with utmost concentration and precision of calculating the figures, drawing the lines and putting them in paper. Once I happened to ask my mother if she is ever angry when my father is working late into the night, she simply said that he who enjoyed doing this and she finds that dedication towards one’s work is one of the qualities that one must develop at a very early stage. She said that we may not find the success always, but always a satisfaction of having done the work well enough.


I had a friend from School and she also had this special thing in her which actually endeared her more to me, At any given point of time, given any task, her full focus was on the task at hand and it was a treat to watch her sometimes when she worked.


All these people, may not be great achievers but have one thing in common, they have a satisfied soul. Happiness stems from the fact that one has achieved what they set out to achieve, no matter how small the goal is- but they have given everything to ensure it reaches the perfection it deserves. We should strive to work in a manner just not to finish the work at hand, but give the work its due respect, that respect comes back in the satisfaction that you get after you see the results of your effort.
I am sure there are many people in this world with the same zest and dedication towards their work and for all those people it’s a hats off from my end, because it’s your efforts that make this place beautiful and proud to be in… Thank you and a parting that I have tried and always will do my best in whatever task I take up

Right V/s Convenience

I recently attended a session, and the presenter was trying to explain the difference between doing “what is right and what is convenient” and then posed a question to the audience, after describing the scenario.


The scenario (is a different one) and is described as below:
“A project manager working on a high critical project leaves his office evening 8:30PM after finishing a smooth release for the project; he drives towards home satisfied of delivering the customer on time and with good quality. It’s his 4 year old son’s birthday and he knows that if he reaches more lately, his son will be hurt. As he is driving, he fails to notice the signal and skips it, invariably the traffic police stop him and he also obliges and parks his car on one corner. Police start demanding money and he asks for the receipt for the fine that he is paying. The police juts wanted to have the money and without any receipt but he was adamant to get the receipt. A long war of words follow and finally the police gives him the receipt and leaves. He reaches home at 11 PM and his son is asleep after waiting for long hours for his father”.

Now the question: “Is the project manager’s acting based on his principles? Is he right in delaying his way back home for a traffic signal issue?”
The answer was YES. .

It is sometimes so difficult to detach ourselves and say or act on things which according to our believed principles are RIGHT. The detachment once we are able to achieve, we can safely say that we can never do a thing for which “we have to feel sorry about”.
The biggest hurdle to overcome is the fact that most of us in our mind are more and more conscious of “our image” in front of others. We don’t take anytime to think if we can face our naked self and be what we are with PRIDE. The PRIDE of being ourselves has been wrapped in so much of layers of the image we present to the world that we lose ourselves sometime, somehow… .

The definition says the PRIDE is a feeling of self respect or self worth, then why is it that we allow our PRIDE to be dictated or defined by the image that others have of us. Why do we have to consciously be what the world seems to “See in us” rather than be “What we want to be”. .

We will argue for the sake of LOVE, LOYALTY, and TRUST etc… (Generalized everything as LOVE, since they all stem from that basic feeling) we will say from rooftops that we don’t have the right to hurt the person we love, or renounce the thing we love. But then the argument would be are doing it right by allowing the person to do things which are wrong just because we don’t want to hurt the person. Is the philosophy of Rights and Wrongs so relative and based on persons concerned in the act? Does love not act as a sufficient enough reason and motivation to correct the wrong in the person we love?
Is love supposed to be devoid of our own ideals, judgments and reasoning? If yes, then can we say that the person owns us completely, when we are actually living a dual life?.

Is love that we achieve from a person really worth the dual life we give him/her on their face? Without giving the complete sense of ourselves to the person we love, how can we be HONEST to them to our own conscience? Love, should be treated with the respect it deserves and not with such a duality of purpose where we use it for our own convenience and for keeping the world at large happy..

The second argument is again: What’s wrong in seeking comfort? In a sense that if my swindling on this side is going to ensure me a great future ahead, why not compromise a little on part of my principles. And many of us will say - “who cares for principles these days” Its best forgotten..

Well, there is nothing wrong in seeking comfort and neither wrong if we are looking for our won interest. But should we always resort to turn a blind eye to our conscious? We may not realize it fully but someday when we sit back and think about the days that have gone past, we will realize that there were so many wrong things that we would have done because it was convenient to do so. In the pretext of “seeking comfort” we follow a convenient route without a second thought if we one day become of victim of this “culture of convenience”, when some one would leave us midway in the name of “I acted based on my comfort”, its then we realize the “culture” we had practiced and propagated..

The third one would be let’s have peace everywhere. At this seems to be the mantra of all the modern day martyrs. Disagreements are now being termed as “quarrelsome, irksome”. Where one’s right does not seem to be “freedom of speech” but one’s right seems to be to “shut up” because we don’t want ourselves caught in any side. Where it is better to stand neutral and let the world decides whether it’s going to live or die. Where we decide “Not to act”, and take the pleasure of saying “I am not involved”, “I don’t have an opinion”. Sometimes this makes me wonder, where the world would end if every one of us wash our hands from the responsibility of making a decision based on our own opinion. Was the education given to us worth of only this?
They are many more arguments that will come forth; I have just mentioned the few that I have experienced. It is tough to stand by your principles. It is hard to be honest to ourselves. Feels like such a contradiction right? We talk of being honest, only with respect to others, without a question, are we being honest to ourselves , our conscience. The journey ahead for me seems to be very tough… Because challenges that remain unexplored are “how to decide what is right based on my limited knowledge, experience?”.

The other day I saw a Bollywood movie “Damini”, yes of course lot of clichés in it. But its one dialogue that seems to uplift the movie to a different level… It’s the dialogue by the judge….when he says that “Mahatma Gandhiji has told that our conscience is the first judge and then we are right in our conscience we will do everything to fight the odds that come against our belief”..

I will only strive to be right always to my conscience in whatever I do. Rest must be taken care of…