Story of Relationships- Part 2

Ok, BIG DISCLAIMER is “I am not married” So the views expressed sometimes may sound purely imaginative and may not even hold relevance when thought in the practical sense.Date: 12-11-2009

What is marriage or a spousal relationship? Dictionary definition says it as the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life.
In our society marriage is the legal stamp on the togetherness of 2 individuals who have chosen to be with each other through the life journey.
Do you notice the word Voluntary there; it means that it is an act of choice and not to be dictated by anything else.

Why would a person want to get married to another person? This is a question that has bothered me for long, I think it is very important to know the answer for this… and I am trying to discover the answer for that as I draft this.

I have heard different views on it from many people, mostly from my age batch. The reason that they may be left alone in life (at old age or even when you are young, because all your friends will be married) is cited many times, and even to convince me.


But should that “Being left alone” be the reason you look for a husband or wife?
I mean, one can be left alone thought sitting in between the crowd. Its not necessary condition that the person we marry will be able to erase all the loneliness in our lives.


Ok, the other part of the reason of having companionship at old age is valid but only to some extent. With such an uncertainty on Human nature, how can I pre suppose that the person I am marrying today is going to be the same or with whom I want to share the moments of my old age. Or for that matter even that person is always unsure given the fact of “Change” in our lives. Looks like quite a gamble with all these reasoning for me…


Some might be bold enough to state the fact of having the physical pleasures as Man and Wife. Fine, but in today’s world is it really bound to be in the realms of marriage alone. Yes , it is for an idealist, that’s always the case. But ideals are also relative. :P


To have children, again this alone cannot be the criteria to get married and neither all the above put together is giving me a convincing reason why a person should get married.
What everyone fails to say or perhaps it is but obvious is the fact that “One should get married to be loved”. This is one of the basic necessities of all relationships. And for marriage it is THE most necessity. If people told me that I have to get married because I need that love which gives me the Strength to walk the rest of the path of my life or the love that gives me the Warmth of a friendship amidst the cold brutalities of circumstances or may be just the feeling of “I am there for you”, one can actually give marriage a serious thought. But most of the time people just keep telling me the social stigmas attached to it, which makes no convincing reasons at all to get married.

Now, let us say I decide to get married because I want to be “loved and cared for”. It is so important a fact that I am loved and cared for “who I am” than for the perception that people have of an ideal lover or ideal wife.


The arranged marriages are one way of making a deal that Boy meets Girl and Girl meets Boy and now they need to understand each other and see if they are compatible and then get married. It’s such a compromising reason to get into the relationship called marriage. I mean both parties can always opt for pretending throughout days when they meet and by the time they decide. Or one of them may fake it. Or let us say in the best scenario both are honest, but still it’s like searching for the pearl ring among a bowl of pebbles, again a gamble.


Coming to the ones that we term as Love marriages, People are equally excited and frightened with this concept. Excited for the fun of having chosen and met their Life partner


And, frightened if their dreams of marrying each other will materialize or not. But it is definitely a better bet than arranged marriages. Because people will not fake themselves when they are seriously into a relationship and are thinking of future together.


Only thing, which is perhaps essential to see to it that they finally marry each other, is their Conviction for what they feel is Right – the right to love each other.
Hmmm, I guess I preached a lot, Sorry if it sounded like some preaching’s, it was just the honest thoughts in my mind on this relationship fundas.


To end this, I would just add one thing, every relationship has its own beauty and we need to cherish it for its nature and complexities attached to it.
For anything to flourish, we need to have RESPECT for that. RESPECT will also lay the foundation for LOVE and then LOVE lays it for a FUTURE LIFE which is beautiful.


PS: Lines added, after comments on my previous posts... "One needs to Marry to be loved and also To Love". I dont know though which gains precendence, whether You love someone first and the other person responds or is it just simultaneous.